I've been trying to figure out a lot lately. When I couldn't establish how I would do this, I decided I'd write it all out. When I realized I, 1, don't have time to sit and physically handwrite all of my thoughts [which is how I'd rather do it], 2, my hand cramps up after too much handwriting and I type faster than I write, and 3, I wouldn't really be able to get many opinions on a handwritten journal, I decided I'd try a blog. So here I am.
Now I'm sure you're asking; "What are you trying to figure out?" Well... there's a lot of that flying around in my head right about now. I think right about now, the main thing I've been throwing around in my head... is how do I make it so I have more time at home, but make more money. I know.... I know.... that's everyone's question these days. I'm not saying I am any better than the next person, but damn an associates degree and some experience in human services and volunteering should get me somewhere, wouldn't you think? In my opinion, it should get me more than a stress filled job and $10.63 an hour. Oh and by the way, I work 2 jobs.
Now let me make something clear here. I am a very lucky person. I don't want anyone to think that I am asking for handouts, complaining about my situation, or thinking that I take advantage of what I've got. I appreciate every little thing in my life; from a kiss on the forehead to a hug from my daughter, to a safe drive to work. I appreciate every day, every second I have on this earth that I can spend with the people I love. I just wish I could have more of it. Don't you?
I don't want a million dollars [well... with the way this economy is going a million is the new thousand...], and I don't want the world in my hands. I want comfort. I want to be able to pay the bills every month and have a little extra spending money for the things I want to do with my family, I want to be able to spend time with my daughter instead of her getting so excited to see me [when she does] that she wont let go of me the entire time, I just want comfort.
Now forget what I want. Here's what I have; what I appreciate. I have a wonderful family, which extends beyond my bloodline. I have people who love me, people who help me. I have an absolutely beautiful daughter who is full of love, life, and laughter. I fell into an excellent opportunity for me to potentially own my own house someday soon; a beautiful house [that needs some work, but it feels like home]. I have a job. Actually, I have 2. I definitely know that there are many out there who are unemployed, struggling to get by every day. To top it off, I have the ambition to work, to care, and to help. One day I hope to be able to return the things I have to someone who will appreciate them.
Well, this post was quite... unorganized. But that's often how I write. I'll try to be more structured next time. It's hard for even me to understand, belive me.
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